Sunday, April 9

Addicted to the Internet

Feeling like your spending too much time starring at the glowing LCD? Is your skin loosing its colour? Are you finding that you prefer the blinds shut in the day-time?

You could be suffering from IAD (Internet Addiction Disorder). It's time to fly to Beijing for treatment in their health new centre for IAD disorders. The BBC reports China's measures to curb gamers:

Under the new system, your online character becomes less and less effective. After three hours, the number of in-game "experience points" for, say, killing an opponent are reduced by half.

After five hours you do not get any at all. It is called the fatigue system.

But with the balance of Yin and Yang, China's leaders also announce £1.14bn investment in developing a home-grown gaming industry to compete internationally. So they own the whole value-chain; creating the drug through to weening you off it.

How to spot when you've got IAD:

- You have more than three cold, half-full coffee cups around your flat screen
- You only eat when you've completed a 'level'
- You refer to people by their online alias instead of their real name
- It has been three months since you entered a high-street shop (you only order online)
- You only sleep when there's a power cut


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